All you need is love?

This is a great song, I even have a shirt that has it plastered all over it in every direction,  ‘All you needis love’.  Is that all you need? From everything I’ve been contemplating this week, yes.

Everything goes back to love….love of others leads to helping others, serving others, compassion for others.  Love for yourself leads to opening up your whole word.  For if you love yourself, care for yourself, forgive yourself, have compassion for yourself, you have so much more to give to those around you, hence more love surrounding you.  Self love gets a bad wrap with some but self love isn’t about being self absorbed or egotistical.  The self love I’m speaking about is with no ego.  It’s an understanding that having a true life of inner peace means you have the understanding that we are all connected.  By having love for myself means I have love for those around me. By having turmoil with myself means having turmoil with those around me. And vice-versa.  My actions and feelings that I exude to those around me I am putting on myself too.  There isn’t a separation.  It’s a strange thing to really accept how interconnected we all are. But something I do believe to be true.

In thinking about this interconnectedness it also has me reflect on how I provide self care for myself, my self love.  I’m a people pleaser.  I hate to admit this but it’s true. I think more people are than they want to admit.  It’s good in the sense that I want those around me to feel good and I genuinely like helping others.  It’s not so good when I put myself on the back burner.  Not good when I continue to try to please others while ignoring Amy. I heard a quote this week that was a good reminder ‘If you spend your life trying to make other people happy, you’re spending your life.’  I don’t want to spend my life away.  I want to live a fulfilling life full of love, adventure, giving and gratitude.  That means I need to work on my self love so I have more to give.  In an effort to do this, I made a list of non-negotiables for what I need in my life on a daily basis.  To be honest I have a few non-negotiable lists in my life lately.  The things I won’t change, the things I need to thrive.  It feels good to have those to help remind me what I’ve learned to find value in as I’ve evolved.  My daily non-negotiable consists of : being outside in nature, physical movement, music, family time, nourishment, learning and giving.  I decided the giving can be to me or to others (help me with that people pleaser part of me :).  It doesn’t have to take the whole day to go through the list or the only thing I do during the day….but throughout the day these these will be incorporated somehow.

I also will admit that I am a personal development junkie.  I have been for years. Throw me the Alchemist, the Four Agreements,  something by Deepak Chopra or a Wayne Dyer and I’m curled up for the night engrossed.  I like the idea of being able to grow and improve, learn and evolve. And thinking about the deeper concept of love has been another part of this process.  Instead of  thinking of this learning as self improvement I’m going to start thinking of it as self acceptance. That means with no judging.  Instead of reading, learning and judging myself on what I need to change, I’m going to accept where I’m at and know I’m surrounded by what I need. If we judge ourselves, we need to forgive ourselves, love ourselves. It should be easier than I make it be.  For the love we all seek is always around us.  We are love at the core of our essence. So I think I’m just going to relax a bit more.  I’m just going to go with the nature of just being love. The nature of love within and without.  The reality of love as your true self at all times.  So when other things show up like fear,  people pleasing, anger, frustration, I can readjust and re-interupt the situation based on love.  That can only help me live a life more in my element.  Could you imagine a world where this type of inner peace and love for ourselves and others is the habit?  The new norm? I’m sure going to do my part to have that be my world.  The world where all we need is love.

Gratitude for relationships

Alright this is a little cheesy but – I am so grateful for the relationships I have in my life.  If there is one thing that brings me joy when I reflect on the dash in my life it is that.  Relationships with my kids, husband, family and friends.

With my family I honestly feel I can call any of them, extended- in-laws- immediate, any time and have love, have understanding.  Some I have very fond childhood memories of roller skating and cereal.  Some I have only met a couple of times.  It doesn’t matter.  The bond is made.  They are family.  And if you know me, I’m quite a loyal person.

With friends it’s amazing too.  I have those that I’ve know since I was 13 yrs old and still can call my best friend (love you JG).  Those that I grew up with in the ‘hood and have been able to reconnect with. I have one that I worked with only a few months many years ago but our relationship has stuck.  I love her like my sister for life. She always shows up.  When I tell people I’m still friends with people from high school – some don’t understand.  But it’s true. I’m lucky enough to have some of my best from HS still cutting my hair, giving me ski passes, comping me dinners, inviting me to spend the weekend, and witnessing weddings.  We’ve camped, vacationed, partied, loved, grieved, grew up, and welcomed in new lives as friends.

Lately my circle of friends has grown to my current location too.  How lucky that in this little valley I have been able to have met other like minded, free-loving ladies.  They have given me more than they know.

I’ve been grateful through my jobs to meet my tribe.  At the time I’m always unaware of what we are creating together and the bond we are building.  But now as I reflect, I am awestruck.  As one incredible woman I met lately summed it up – we were building our fan club.  These people have shown me their talent, their drive, and themselves.  I’m a fan.  I will always be in their fan club and cheering them on.  What an incredible realization to know I will back them up- give them a great reference, believe in them, their decisions and they will do the same for me.

What is this that ties some people together?  It doesn’t happen with all relationships.  As I thought about this I believe it comes down to exposure.  Somehow the one’s that you have the bond with that surpasses the boundaries (time, distance, communication), are the one’s that have exposed their true self in some way (I don’t mean flashing).  And I have shared that with them too.  We’ve shared something real.  We’ve related on a true level where we have ‘seen’ what each of us are made of.  We’ve trusted.  We’ve seen in each other our greatness, what we are capable of and the element within us.  We have a cheerleader for life.  This is true for family and friends.  The bond that ties us.

How grateful I am for these relationships.  There are no words to thank all these people that have built these relationships with me.  It is truly amazing.  My gratitude for the love, security and this bond I have with many is overwhelming.  So, I thank you.  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to have a life full of relationships.  Full of trust and love that not everyone gets to experience. Thank you for believing in my element.  I believe in you living yours and will always be in your fan club cheering you on!

The truths about living – here is your present

I just read a really great article that helped me put in to words something I’ve been observing lately.  I can relate to this article.  I’m surrounded by women and men that are amazing, that are really striving to live in their element everyday.  I’m so grateful to these people that lift me up and give me the positive energy This article gracefully addresses the 7 cliches that keep us from our true power.  The power we all have within and so want to manifest daily.

Why do we feel insecure, out of balance, disconnected and self sabotaging along with pushing ourselves too hard?  I’m pushing so hard right now  – trying to be at the PTO meeting, boot camp, yoga, moving my family, getting that PPT up, all my work that really matters to me— the things I want to do.  Example -In an attempt to get Jade to ballet on time tonight (we’ve been late the last 2 weeks) I mixed up the time and dropped her off 1/2 hour early!!  Yes, we were on time but I felt guilty.  Which is another self sabotaging thing.  To make up for it I went to watch her dance for 45 min.  At first, I will admit I felt like it was wasting a valuable time slot I had.  With my days to crammed of stuff- it was hard.  Then I thought of something my husband shared last night.  Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. And today ? Is a gift- that is why it’s call the present.  Then  it was blissful.  The first 10 min I checked my email to make sure I wasn’t missing anything and the last 35 min I watched a class-full of giggly 7-8 yr olds learning new technique.  I was giggling too.   So grateful for that moment of bliss – letting it go.  I remembered one of my core values – FUN!!!

We all try so hard every day.  No one is perfect, we are all trying to be in our element right?Learning, remembering, and letting go.  This is a week when I really, really need to remember how I show up, what my core values are…..but I also believe that you are on the path you should be when you are tested more and more on these values.  I feel it strongly right now.  I’m being tested. I can’t wait to move thru this phase and see what is next.  The good or the challenge.  It’s all a present that I am lucky to receive.  I will move forward as hard as it may be, as hard as the feelings are…..I’m a present person and grateful to have these truths of living.