Dec 16th, 2007 (Sunday)
Still nothing. No word from Mikey. I called my dad and said I was coming to SLC to help look for him. He didn’t refuse this time. He gave me a heads up that Mikey’s gun was missing too. With a heavy heart I drove to my dads with missing person flyers in hand.
When I got there we headed to Mikey’s room. We went through all his stuff. It felt weird but I felt desperate. Anything that might help us is all I kept thinking. He had left his drivers license, money, his smokes, everything. He left everything behind. He knew he didn’t need it anymore. Unfortunately he left nothing to help us figure out where he could be. There was added confusion and unanswered questions. We gathered up a few notes with addresses and names so we could check them out. My dad asked if I would walk through his yard and garage just to make sure he wasn’t missing anything. I can’t describe the feeling I had. Was I looking to find something that my dad chose to ignore? Was I hoping to find the solution? It was very confusing and very hard. At the same time I felt like I needed to be strong for my dad, be there and show up in a way he needed.
We worked on the missing person flyers a little more. . We posted them in some local spots and my dear friend posted some too at the bottom of the canyons. Would Mikey retreat there? He loved the outdoors and the canyons but he knows how hard it would be to find him.
We decided to take Mikey’s dog Sage to a park near by their house to look for Mikey. It was as if I was living in a really, really bad dream. We combed the park, looking under bushes, through thick vegetation, walking trails, and trying to be focused. It was absolutely horrible. When I think about it now, years later, I know the only reason we were able to do such an unthinkable task was because we were so desperate to find him. At the same time I was absolutely terrified of finding him. Such a confusing space. What if I found him!! What if I didn’t? What if my dad or Peggy did? What would we do?? The whole experience was really hard and emotionally exhausting. After nothing, we went back to my dads. We hugged, cried and counted on the next day to find him.
theelementinc 