I’ve given a lot of thought to this idea of how I show up but it’s becoming more and more something I’m making a bigger effort at daily. I’ve understood for awhile that you can’t control what happens around you but you can control how you respond. That I do pretty well when it comes to some of the heavy things in life. But to me this idea of showing up goes even a little deeper. It’s how that concept comes into play in the moments of life.
By how you show up I don’t mean necessarily your ‘presence’ although that is a part of it. Mostly how you can consistently be your true self regardless of how others influence how you feel at the moment. This must start by identifying your authentic, core values. Those parts of life that are treasures to you- what must be a part of your daily life. Think about it hard and identify your highest authentic values. Write them down (thank you Mach II for helping me do this recently). Mine are love, family, fun, success, integrity, compassion, contribution and gratitude. Now for the hard part – how do you live up to these values no matter what is said or done around you?
Example – just pretend you have a friend who is compassionate, interactive, social and likes to help others. This friend has a cousin that is very self absorbed and not positive in any aspect. You are with that friend and see how they act more withdrawn, less compassionate, less communicative around that family member then how they truly are. Your friend, probably in an effort to save his/her energy, pulls away from their cousin. Interesting to watch eh? Then later you listen to your friend wish they could not feel like that but could still be themselves. Your friend almost feels guilty about changing who they are in this situation. Why is it so hard? (this is a not related to any of my cousins – I love you! purely an example).
I’ve been there. My husband makes a comment that sets me off – instead of being set off I need to center back to my authentic self. Not let what he has said change how I show up. He’s not trying to hurt me so why take it personal? (that’s a more real example – love you honey). To be fair- I do the same thing to him too. It reminds me to be myself in interactions I start too as I may affect someone in a not so great way or in a positive way. Depends on how I show up. How about the jerk, I mean guy, that cut me off this morning on my way to boot camp. Instead of getting pissed off – I need to center myself. I don’t know what’s going on in his life- maybe he had a really good reason for doing that. Regardless, that small incident shouldn’t change that I’m compassionate and loving not a finger throwing gal. It reminds me of one of the four agreements – to not take anything personal.
See what I mean? It’s not easy but it’s life altering. I know after continuing to give more thought to this during the many moments of life it soon will become habitual and really be life altering. It will only allow me to be living even closer to my element. My true self showing up all the time will only lead me to where I need to be.
Think about your core values and how you are showing up. Re-evaluate, move towards your element. I’ll do my best to meet you there!
theelementinc 